Smoking

I’m smoking stubs
Hoping no-one will wake me up
To disturb the wonder of thinking
I’m 54
Still so disturbed?
When I was 21
I was woken up by
My dead son
His sibs have disturbed the wonder
Of my
Stub moments
Ever after
I’m smoking stubs
Hoping no one- will wake up
And knowing that they will
And home is stubby
My life is ash
And my homes
Are built on my ashes
Tonight I am beyond ash
Beyond pain
Beyond the wank of a new beginning
Tonight
I am with the lions
Smoking
Copiously