Duty and Love

I feel the comfort of old nights
Freshly
I stay awake long enough to hear a silent house
It takes time
The thunder of footsteps creaking overhead,
The flushing of a loo
The music of television dissipate
Offering a cold hour or two
When the air chills my bones
And I am alone
My time.
My time lovingly violated by the needy
Is running out
I do not seek or miss friends
I devour the joyful wonder of Cotswold hedgerows
I smell home in the cigarette scent of cow-parsley
On the way to Moreton Station-to pick up yet another child.
Yet not to bring him home.
When all is quite
I wonder about the soil
Quite intelligently actually
But by the time
I feel peace
I am too tired
To taste the difference
Between duty and love